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Jokes Etc / Pls Read To The End by thankgod: Today at 07:08am
A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss.
When the boss came, the story began.
-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.
Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him
with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.
The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the
client asked to have.
The client went into his room, he didn't ask for food or anything
Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.
After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that
client's room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes
being thrown on the floor.
The boss didn't sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering
what might be the source of the noise.
In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the
latter asked to see the room first.
He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing
unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange
on the table.
The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and
left the hotel smiling.
The boss was in a shock but he didn't reveal what he heard to the
bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.
After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the
boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.
The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white
thread 39cm and an orange 79g.
This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means
possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to
happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this
time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.
Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on
the table for the bellboys. The smile didn't leave his face.
The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the
client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white
thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn't arrive to any
convincing answer to all these questions.
The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the
month in which the client showed up.
To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed
up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same
room, wanted to have the same things as before.
The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than
In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss
apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret
behind the noises in the room.
-''If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to
anyone else?''
-''I promise I will never let anyone know''.
-''I swear I won't reveal your secret''
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.
Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Uptil now he hasn't
revealed his secret to anyone.
When he does, I will let you know...

Jokes Etc / The Worst Day Of My Life  by thankgod: Today at 07:06am
Yesterday was the worst day in my life. I was
at a park when i saw a woman seriously
complaining about her stolen phone. So I went
near her to listen to what she was saying.. I
was also downloading something with my
phone at that same time.. immediately she saw
my phone she told the crowd that's her phone
which was Samsung galaxy S6 Edge.. For a
moment i couldn't even open my mouth, i was
so confused. she held me and slapped me. the
crowd attempted to beat me up. But luckily a
policeman was passing by and he came into
the scene.. He asked what was going on and i
explained with tears all over my face.. He sent
me to the police station together with the
woman and I still explained to the policeman
that i was innocent.. So the policeman asked
the woman to call her phone.. she called and a
girl picked and told the woman it was her
daughter. The girl told the woman that she left
her phone at home when she was leaving to
town... I even cried more and more because I
had already been disgraced .. The policeman
told the woman to settle me with some money..
The woman pulled 5million naira out of her bag
and wanted to hand it over to me but it was
just too much for me in this Buhari regime. so i just opened my eyes,
stood up from my bed

Jokes Etc / How To Have Sex With A Girl That Is Sleeping by thankgod: Today at 07:04am
Silently go to her back
:::::: that is the 1st step
now pull off your trousers
and boxers
'::::: then you will lay a mat on the floor
you will pray and sleep,
if you woke up this morning, give glory to
God. I know you all love reading useless
But if its about God you will not read.
I know u are angry but the truth is bitter .

Jokes Etc / Lol! Daring Husband by thankgod: Today at 07:03am
A famous inspirational speaker was speaking to an audience and he said, "Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife. "
The audience was silent and in shock.
Then he added, "She was my mother."
Laughter and a big round of applause.
A very daring husband tried to crack this at home. After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen, "Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife."
He stood for a moment trying to recall the second line of that speaker.
By the time he regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns caused by boiling water!

Literature / Confession Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy: The Tales Of Gbadebo —— Episode 15 by thankgod: Today at 06:41am
Abisoko ran into the house
screaming my name. I asked what the problem was. “Gbade, this is
your opportunity now! Do it or?”
Abisoko said. I asked what
opportunity was. He said balikis
was outside at their shop doing
some cleaning. They said I should go bring her and have s-x with her.
I turned it down immediately.
Uchenna was there. Both of them
began quarrelling with me. “Since I
refused to go for Balikis, I had
never made any attempt on any other girl.” They said I was just
wasting their time. Uchenna come
talk say, whether I do it or not, he
was still be going to Ibadan and if I
didn’t do it, he would take the
handkerchief of Abisoko and his alone. And wetin I see make I take.
And he had warned me that right
from the beginning, he had
included my name. What they are
doing, I must be part of it and if I
didn’t, it would amount to grave consequences. I just kept quiet as
they shouted at me. I thought
about what Uchenna said. If I
didn’t bring the handkerchief blood,
will I die? Will any evil happen to
me or my mom? And why didn’t I find anyone else till then! “Will any
evil happen to balikis if I use her
virgin blood.” Abeg I no want make
any evil thing happen to her. “And
what of after penetrating and she
wasn’t a virgin?” What of if she no come gree nko? All that where my
thoughts as Uchenna tapped me.
He said he had just gone outside
to call Balikis. And she said she
was coming. So if I wan do
anything, make I do am fast. The thought of doing balikis sef was
Balikis came to the house and said
Uchenna said I was calling her. I
asked if she was doing anything at
that moment. She said “yes.” She asked what we wanted her to do
for us. I told her just a little thing.
She said we should just give her
about 5minutes to arrange the
place, inside the uncompleted
building close to our house. That is where they normally keep some of
their items when leaving after the
day. And she left. Na so we begin
wait for balikis to come. 30 minutes
gone, 1hour gone. Uchenna asked
me to go there myself. Na so me go there come see her still dey
arrange the place. She was
arranging baskets of tomatoes. I
helped her out till the place was
reasonably okay to her. She said
her aunty was not around but would be coming back the evening
of that day. I began teasing her
while she washed her hands and
sat on the long bench there. One
thing led to another. I touched her
bosoms and she just laughed and didn’t say anything. Na so I press
forward ooo. Before 5 minutes, I
had already raised her skirt, pants
down and I was inside her. I
thought it would be easy but it
wasn’t as she laid on the bench while I thrusted. Looking directly
into her eyes I was feeling guilty
and yet the blood was yet to come
out. At a time I began wondering if
she was really virgin because I
never asked her. 7 minutes still going, I was becoming weak and
she too because she has begun
pleading for me to stop that she
was getting tired and feeling pains.
But the blood never come out. She
was just managing to say, “Bro gbade is okay nah.” Abisoko and
Uchenna came into the place
immediately and met the act going.
They were about going out when I
called them back telling them that
blood was yet to come out oo. And balakis facial expression was
becoming scary and weird like
somebody that wants to faint. My
guys came closer. “Guy pump am
well, just dey pump dey go,”
Uchenna said. As he said it, I was tired but I increased the pleasure.
Before we know wetin dey happen,
balikis was no longer responding.
She was just there like a log of
wood. And I was still pumping as
my guys stood behind. Na so I stop immediately when I realized it. “U.C
this girl is not moving again ooo,” I
said to them. They came closer.
Laying on the chair she looked
collapsed. As I removed my
manhood from her female core, I discovered that little blood was
dripping out of that area. But that
was not my concern at that
moment. “Oboy, dis girl don go
ooo,” Abisoko said. We tried calling
her but she was not responding. Uchenna asked me to use my white
handkerchief to clean out the blood
at her private area. Na so I come
dey hala for my guy. 

Literature / Confession Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy: The Tales Of Gbadebo —— Episode 14 by thankgod: Today at 06:39am
According to
Uchenna, it was G-money
introduced him to us. He said I
would be working with him and
after everything, we go give am
small money. So Uchenna wanted him to meet us and get familiar.
Uchenna also said he was also
making plans to get another “inside
bank contact” in Abeokuta who will
be working with us in his own bank.
After much talk, Uchenna went outside and locked the gate from
inside. He locked the doors of the
house. He brought out three white
handkerchiefs. He gave one to
Abisoko. He gave me one and took
the remaining one. I began wondering what was going on. He
said Abisoko had already known
what he would do with the
handkerchief but he was repeating
his words because of me since I
was yet to know what to do with it. He said the native doctor that gave
them the handkerchief said we
should sleep with a virgin female
and use the white handkerchief to
clean the blood flow and return it to
him. As I heard what he said, “Na so me vex come dey para.” I told
then I thought they said we were
not going to do any rituals. Which
one come be this one. “Shey dis
one na ritual, shey na ritual! We go
kill anybody?” Abisoko shouted. Uchenna told Abisoko to calm
down. He said even if I didn’t do it,
the implications would be very
worse because he had already
submitted my name to the native
doctor as part of the people that would do it. So the best thing was
for me to do it. Them say this one,
them no go beg me make I do am,
say if I like I do and if I no like make
I no do say wetin I see make I take.
“Kaiiii, na so fear come dey catch me ooo.” I became confused. I
never signed up for all these kind
of things nah. I thought we would
just get the oyibo person, scam
them and take there money, that
was all. This one wey them dey do, I no come dey understand again
That night, I had a terrible dream.
In that dream, I saw a multitude of
people chasing me with cutlass.
When I woke up, I was so scared. The next day, Uchenna called me
and advised that i do what the
native doctor asked. He was trying
to convince me nothing would
happen to me or the virgin girl. He
used his sugar coated mouth to convince me. He said he was
assuring me that nothing bad
would happen to us unless if we
didn’t do it. I just became
confused. Na so fear go com dey
catch me! “Where I go come find virgin.” I asked. My guys thought
that was a stupid question because
virgins were all around us. “Try your
ugly funke kpomo lips,” Uchenna
said. They laughed as I walked out
of the place. Uchenna said he would go back to Ibadan to return
the handkerchief and concoction
so we should do everything fast.
The banker from Ibadan visited.
His name was Jide. We did all the
contact exchange, familiarity we needed to do. However he advised
that we shouldn’t break the code.
“No one should know what we were
into. ‘And make we no implicate
him.’ Uchenna paid banker Jide’s
his transport fare back to Ibadan. Two days later, my guys were
ready with their virgin blood
handkerchief. Na me dem come
dey wait for. I didn’t know how to
do my own, and Funke said she
was coming to my place that evening. In as much I and funke
were close, I have never made any
sexual advancement on her. I was
even scared to do it. “And who
knows if she was even a virgin.” My
guys are beginning to disturb me to produce my own virgin blood
Funke came that evening. I was
scared, I didn’t know how to make
the move. I had apologized about
the concoction she saw the other day. I told her that none of us were
aware of it in the first place. ‘I come
lie say na Uchenna great great
grandparents wey live there fit do
am. Na so she buy the lie.’ I
thought of another thing about confronting funke on s-x. “What if
she gives me access and I com do
finish and she no come be virgin.” I
thought to myself. That one go be
serious trouble.
I sat gently. Funke asked what was happening to me that I was just
moody. “I told her I was just tired
and weak. She began feeling pity
for me. If only she knew what was
on my mind.” My guys were in there
rooms using their laptops. I had to stand up and told them to leave the
house entirely and go outside
which they did. It looked as if I was
pretending that I was sick. No be
say I sick but wetin dey my mind
was making me weak and sick. We went into uchenna’s room. I made
sure the handkerchief was in my
pocket of trouser. I laid on the bed
and told funke to join me which she
did. She was browsing on her
phone. She asked if I was feeling weaker, so she could go buy me
drugs. I told her not to worry. I
began touching her in some
sensitive parts. She laughed as if it
was a normal joke. I tickled her
hair. My hands went to her waist and tried removing the top she was
wearing. Na so she hold my hand.
“Gbade what are you trying to do,”
funke asked. I began smiling
sheepishly. I no know wetin I want
talk again. Na so I summon courage press forward. She was
still telling me calmly to stop but I
continued till I removed her
clothes. Na so this girl begin
cryooo. And I was too emotional. I
couldn’t continue anymore. I didn’t want it to look as if I raped her,
forcing her against her will. Na so I
begin beg her ooo. She was crying.
I told her I wasn’t doing again ooo.
I begged and told her I would never
try such an act again. And I had pulled her clothes. She was only
having her bra and pant on. She
wore her clothes and carried her
bag, I held her waist while seeing
her off. When my guys see us, dem
come dey smile. Them go don dey think say I don succeed. I gave
funke N1000 as she left. When I
returned to the house, my guys
come dey hail me. Na so I tell them
say I no succeed ooo. I told them
what transpired. Me, I didn’t know what to do again oo. Whether to kill
a fowl and use the blood. There
was this fowl that normally come
into our compound. I thought to
myself, “maybe that would be what
I would do.” But it was unfortunate, that night, I had a dream. In that
dream, I was returning from a
stream. I had water on my head. I
met an old man on the way. The
old man began warning that the
evil act on my mind, I shouldn’t try it and if I should disobey, I will be
faced with huge consequences. I
woke up with great fear. I told my
guys the dream. Uchenna said if
there was anything I planned on
doing, I shouldn’t just try it. “But what could be the evil act I want to
do. The only thing on my mind was
using of a fowl blood instead of
virgin woman’s blood.” I couldn’t
tell my guys that. I only harboured
the thought. I returned from school on Thursday
and went to balikis’s shop to take
fresh air. I played and joked with
her aunty. My guys came and
joined me. After a while, we went
inside the house. Uchenna gave me a weird idea. He said I should
go for balikis as the virgin blood to
use. I immediately rebuked him.
They laughed. I considered balikis
still as an underage and innocent
girl. And infact I can’t even do that kind of thing with her. Abisoko said
he would help arrange her because
time was running out. Na so dem
come dey pressurize me to do this
girl. Infact I became confused.
“Okay if you no go for balikis, go for another person nah,” uchenna said
to me. But who else do I even want
to go for.
On Saturday morning which was
environmental sanitation. Uchenna
would be leaving for the native doctor’s place by 11am. And that
weekend, some students in the
area had travelled.
Abisoko ran into the house
screaming my name. I asked what
the problem was. “Gbade, this is your opportunity now! Do it or?”
Abisoko said. I asked what
opportunity was. He said balikis
was outside at their shop doing
some cleaning. They said I should
go bring her and have s-x with her. <<<<<<<

Literature / Confession Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy: The Tales Of Gbadebo —— Episode 13 by thankgod: Today at 06:38am
Funke was arranging the parlour
when she saw a small calabash that contains cola nuts and
something that looks like a stick
and a red cloth tied around the
stick with palm oil on it. Na so this
girl come dey shout, “blood of
Jesus! Blood of Jesus.” Na so I rush come out from bathroom were I dey
bath. When I came out, she started
saying that we were doing juju in
the house, pointing at what she
saw. I myself was so shocked
because that was the first time of me seeing that thing. Who must
have kept that kind of thing in the
house. Rather than screaming with
her, I lied to her that maybe it was
the person staying in the house
before. “But you said it was a family house nah,” she said to me. I told
her that, “maybe it was one of
Uchenna’s relatives that left it
there. That it wasn’t us.” Na so
funke vex run commot for the
house ohhh. She said she can’t stay in that house where that kind
of thing is. Me sef dey fear but I no
wan show am out. After funke had
left, I called uchenna on the phone
but there was noise where he was,
we couldn’t hear each other very well on phone. He sent me a text
that I should call back later. I tried
Abisoko’s line and it went through,
he picked.
Me — hello Isoko
Abisoko – Paddy mi, how far nah.. no worry I go soon dey come back
Me – guy forget that one joorr. No
be that one e dey.
Abisoko — What is that?
Me – Funke saw something in the parlour
Abisoko — funke keh, who be
Me — Funke nah
Abisoko – funke! Which funke?
Me – my own funke Abisoko — okkkkk. Funke kpomo
Me – guy stop that rubbish. No dey
call my girl kpomo lips.
I told him what funke saw and he
shouted. He said it was uchenna that kept the thing there and that it
was meant for three of us (me,
Abisoko and uchenna). “Ehhh,
three of us keh! You and who,” I
shouted. He started explaining that
was the reason Uchenna travelled to Ibadan. Infact he told me to cut
the call that he was coming back
home immediately. When he
returned home, he was so angry.
He said he never knew that
Uchenna kept that thing there. Uchenna returned from Ibadan, he
blamed me for bringing funke to
the house. Even if funke would
come, why will she go to arrange
the house. After all, it’s not her
house. Abisoko was blaming uchenna for keeping that thing
there, Uchenna was blaming me
and funke. He even said he doesn’t
want funke to be coming to the
house again. I had really started
enjoying her company ooo. She dey even cook for us.
Later on, I apologized to uchenna
for everything, even though I felt it
wasn’t my fault. But I accepted
blame for peace to reign. I no say
na him get house but funke go still dey come. Just that we go dey
extra careful. We settled the issue.
Uchenna said the concoction I saw
was given to him by a strong native
doctor which would help us be
successful in the yahoo yahoo business. I asked them, “I thought
It was just to do the normal thing.”
Does it involve us going through
native doctors and babalawos?” I
asked. “Without babalawo, you no
fit make am,” abisoko said. I told them why didn’t they tell me
before. Because I didn’t want to
involve myself in and with any form
of ritual. Uchenna said it wasn’t a
ritual. It was just to make the oyibo
people pay money. “We no dey kill anybody nah, just relax,” Uchenna
said. Uchenna said it was a friend
that he brought the concoction the
previous day while I was away in
school so he forgot to tell me.
Uchenna told me we would be having a visitor from Ibadan the
next day. He said the person
coming was a banker and would be
one of our main “inside contact” in
the bank which was where he
works. He would be helping to confirm transaction. 

Literature / Confession Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy: The Tales Of Gbadebo —— Episode 12 by thankgod: Yesterday at 12:15pm
I sat down. Uchenna began saying that my attitude in the house was
unbecoming and he doesn’t like it,
even though he was just keeping
quiet. As he was saying it, I was
still scared. We have never
quarreled or fought. I began thinking maybe it was the money I
was owning them. Chaiii, if this
people pursue me, where I wan go!
“Uchenna continued that I was just
eating but don’t want to work for
the money.” After so many talks. He said he wants us (him, abisoko and
me) to work together in the deal he
is in. He said Abisoko knows about
it but he was just telling me.
Abisoko also reminded me of how I
was scammed and said it was time for me to join them in the game.
“People wey dey inside no get two
heads,” Abisoko said. “Even
pastors dey scam people with
tithes and offerings,” Uchenna
said. Dem say make I follow them dey do yahoo yahoo. They also
said that that is how G-money
them, john and other guys make it
big. They don’t work alone. They
have their own team so the three of
us should team up. Well, I told them I will think about it. “There is
nothing to think about. Just decide
now,” Abisoko said. Uchenna told
him to calm down. He should leave
me to think about it.
That night, I had a dream where two of my friends in my previous
place of work pushed me into a
deep pit and I was shouting and
crying, begging them to help me
but they refused. When I woke up, I
didn’t know the meaning of the dream though I never told anyone.
As days gone by, I was still thinking
about the proposal Uchenna and
Abisoko made to me. Part of me
doesn’t want to, but another part of
me said I had no choice because I have been partaking in the
proceeds they have been making
from their dubious deals, so I was
already in and shouldn’t deceive
yourself. And indeed I have been
eating from the small small money they have been making. And
uchenna said they were going for
bigger fishes now. They want to hit
it big just as G-money and other
big players are doing. Another
thought also came into my mind. I was born into poverty and still in it,
yet no progress. I thought “that
might be a greater opportunity for
me. I was so innocent doing a good
boy while I lost thousands of Naira
to oyibo scammers in forex and to dubious folarin and his gang of
robbers.” “Why didn’t you take up
this thing,” the thought said to me
again. “Take it and free yourself
and family from bondage. Dem don
thief your money tire. Now take their own. After all you have been
eating from the ones they have
been making.” It is just for a while.
After making your money, you
leave the business and invest into
real and genuine business.” All that where my thoughts. That I will just
do it for a while. After making
reasonable amount, I go comot.
After all the thoughts, I went to tell
my guys that I was ready to partner
with them as a team. Abisoko was surprised. He said he thought I
would object to the proposal.
Abisoko com dey hail me, carry me
up oo. Na so Uchenna come tell us
say dat no be the main thing. We
have to get down to the main business. That they were not
waiting for me to agree to their
demand. Even if I refused, they
would still go on with their plan but
they would cut me off everything.
They would have even sent me out of the house. Uchenna said he
needed me to join so he could
have his own team connection like
G-money and other guys. Work will
be shared among us and when the
money comes, we share it among ourselves.
Few days later, uchenna sat me
down to put me through some few
things and etiquettes of the game.
He said my own role would be
“Assistance and forwarding”. I would be the one following up their
contact in the bank and also doing
the withdrawal and distribution of
the money we make. He also
briefed me how the work would
look like. He said he chose me for that area because I was smatter,
intelligent and calculative, and I
also have a sound retentive
memory. So Uchenna and Abisoko
would be the ones doing the main
work of processing and formatting the maga.
This particular Saturday, Uchenna
had gone to Ibadan to visit G-
money, Abisoko had gone to
Mapoly. Funke came to the house. I
had really fallen for her. In as much that my guys didn’t really like her,
with the tag of “Funke kpomo lips”
they always call her in absent.’
Funke was arranging the parlour
when she discovered something, a
small calabash. <<<<<<< To Be continued

Literature / Confession Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy: The Tales Of Gbadebo —— Episode 11 by thankgod: Yesterday at 12:13pm
The Cyprus based company no dey exist again.
I wan log into my e-gold account.
And e-gold had been blocked and
banned. “This one na one chance.”
I felt sad. It looked as if something
had gone out of me. I began wondering why those people did
what they did to me.
Uchenna and Abisoko laugh me
tire. Infact they started disturbing
me to pay them their money. “And
how I wan take pay?” Na them sef dey sustain me sef.
I waited for days. Days turned into
weeks and yet no sign that my
investment would be returned or
any positive outcome. I never
heard from Bayo or folarin again. I later learnt that the American
Government frustrated E-gold out
of Business. They shut the
company down, thereby making
people lose their money. “The
online investment too don go.” And I began wondering, “later they
would say Nigerians are scammer,
na dem scam me now.” All my hope
of being a millionaire in a shortest
time had been dashed. My dream
of driving big cars and putting my mom into a comfortable
environment has been dashed.
This particular evening, Uchenna
called me. He said he was
expecting a visitor from Ladoke
Akintola university of Technology (LAUTECH) in Ibadan. He said the
guy was coming and loaded with
cash. And he’s a confirm Yahoo
boy with one fine toyota car like
that. He said he was just telling me
so I won’t invite funke Kpomo lips to the house, because the guy
would be staying for 5 days with us
and they would probably be
bringing in some girls from FCE
Osiele and Mapoly to keep us
company. The 2 Generator wey we get, Abisoko don go service them.
Uchenna also said that at least
before the guy leaves, him go roger
us small money. “But I began
wondering why he would choose to
stay with us. If he was that rich, he would have gone to a hotel.” When
I talk this, na so my guys laugh.
They said it was even a privilege
for them that he would be staying
there. He wanted to go to a hotel
but due to the job they wanted to do together. And it was a very big
job. So they begged and forced
him to come stay with us. At least
them too go benefit some few
things from him experience of
Yahoo yahoo business. That evening, na im the guy land.
The kind of car he came with, am
not a car freak but it was indeed
sophisticate. The guy was fresh
and clean that I was even scared of
having a handshake with him. I felt my hands were dirty, even say I
don bath 3 times that day. Looking
at the young man, one may think
he was just coming from the U.S.
But na Ibadan the guy dey. “Money
is good,” I thought. He brought 3 laptops, modems and some other
things with him. But the one wey
fear me pass be say. He came with
a gun. A pistol. He said it was for
his private use. His name was
Gbadeyan but my guys Uchenna and Abisoko called him G-money.
As he just entered the house. Na
so my guys on Gen com lock the
front door of the parlour, so no
outsider will enter into the house.
I thought that, “as the guy G-money from Lautech don come, my guys
no go go school again.” And truly,
Na only me come dey go school
those period. Dem go just stay
house with their laptops. Night
time, I go join them for car and we go enter Oke ilewo go drink and
carry Ashewo come house. And I
no dull myself for that one. But I
don’t take alcohol. The others do.
The We go out at night and bring
back women each. The kind of money G-money spends on drink. “I
could remember the first night we
went to Okeilewo together. I
ordered for fresh fish pepper soup
of N800. Everyone were laughing
at me. “Baba order for better thing nah, G-money will pay. Abi you dey
fear?” Gmoney said. I told him that
I wasn’t afraid only that I didn’t
want to deplet his money. Na so
everyone come dey laugh. &ldquo;Deplete
my money keh! U.C (uchenna) omo this your guy go kill person oo,” G-
money said referring to me. He said
no one can finish his money. That I
was very funny for making that
statement. “Infact, isoko, slap this
guy N5k from that money,” G- money said. He told Abisoko to
give N5k. na so the mumu guy
(Abisoko) take N5000 slap me for
cheeks. “Guy remember say you
dey owe me ooo,” Abisoko said as
we all laughed. Me collect the N5k put inside pocket.
As days went by, I noticed I was
becoming weaker with my everyday
sleeping with different women. I
struggle to even wakeup. That was
not the kind of life I wanted. Three days gone and 3 women gone, I
was loving the enjoyment with
women which was making me more
exposed, but the effects was taking
it’s worse turn on me
psychologically. G-money left but not before giving
me N12,000. He gave the other
guys N20,000 each. First semester
result came out. It was impressive.
My guys GPA were on 3point while
mine was 4.41 and I loved it. This certain Friday evening, Funke
did well for my house. He cooked
for us. And my were beginning to
call us couples. After everything, I
saw off funke. I came back to the
house. Uchenna call me to sit. Abisoko was there. At first I was
scared why they called me to sit.
Many thoughts were flying through
my mind. Or have they decided to
throw me out!

Literature / Confession Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy: The Tales Of Gbadebo —— Episode 10 by thankgod: Yesterday at 12:11pm
Na so this people, bayo begin
bombard me with calls ooo almost every 3 hours forcing me to come
and buy e-gold. That it would soon
turn to N100. With all that, the
pressure was on me and I no come
get rest of mind again. Na so I call
Abisoko make he borrow me like N5k and Uchenna N7k. At first they
refused but I threatened that I
won’t help them with their
assignment. Them com later cool
down. I called folarin and collected
their account number and sent it to Uchenna to send their money into
it. Na so dem folarin send me $500
in e-gold. Kaiii, I come dey happy
say I don hammer. These people
are indeed good people. Na so I go
put the money for my investment oooo.
Unfortunately, I didn’t come back
the Friday I was supposed to. I just
wanted to see that my mom’s
health improved to a moderate
level before leaving her. The next week, on Wednesday, I
was still in Ilorin when uchenna
called me that police raided
folarin’s office and the guys were
on the run. People had begun
asking for their money at the place, and it seemed they defrauded
people of their money. Immediately
he told me that, I just thought..
“Kaiiii, shey I never enter one
chance shah.” Uchenna said the
place has been locked down for 2 days. Na so I come dey shake. “I
don die!” Many thoughts began
flying through my mind. “It seemed
the enemies from illorin followed
me to school. My village witches
have succeeded. They knew I was at the edge of making millions and
they want to destroy it.” Abisoko
and uchenna began mocking and
laughing at me and the phone.
I called bayo’s phone number and
it was not going. I tried folarin’s own and it was still the same thing.
“Chaiii, make e no be say this
people don scam me oo,” I thought
to myself.
I kept on trying their lines(Bayo and
folarin) and they weren’t going through. I kept on trying till I
returned to Abeokuta and went to
their office and it was locked. It
was dawned on me that I had been
scammed by those men. When I
narrated the case to Adaobi, my former housemate. She said I was
lucky enough, that some people,
even students invested up to
N10,000, N20,000 and some
N50,000. So my N5000 still small.
Adaobi herslf lost N2000 to them. I just felt they were fraudsters from
the pit of hell.
Now to make matters worse, I went
on the internet to check my online
investment, the website was no
longer in existent. 

Am very sorry for not been able to post. Not my intention, so pardon me ko?

Sports / Re: Sure Football Predictions 26th June Monday by miki05: Yesterday at 11:59am
Am waiting for ur perfect prediction for 27th June, 2017

Sports / Sure Football Predictions 26th June Monday by Kingvictor: This week on Mon at 02:21pm
Botafogo- RJ Avai SC 1
Dalkurd FF- Norrby IF 1
Utsiktens BK- Assyriska BK 1
Raufoss IL 2-Stabaek F 2 2
Trelleborgs FF- Brommapojkarna X2
Vikingur Reykja- Vikingur Olafsv GG
Breidablik Kopa- UMF Grindavik GG
Stromsgodset IF- Molde FK OVER25
FC Rosengard- IF Limhamn Bu OVER25
Kvik-Halden- Sarpsborg Sparta OVER25
Viking FK 2- Lura OVER25
Tromso IL 2- Senja FK OVER25

Sports / Re: Sure Football Predictions 25th June And Correct Scores For Sunday by HITCH: This week on Mon at 12:27pm
Is there no prediction today?

Sports / Re: Sure Football Predictions 25th June And Correct Scores For Sunday by HITCH: This week on Mon at 12:24pm
Pls try to post the result of the games after being played to multivate more people,like some result of wining tickets and more

Foreign Affairs / Pakistan: Hundreds Of Casualties In Oil Tanker Explosion by johneewalker: Last week on Sun at 08:49pm
Nearly 150 people including women and children died and more than 125 others were injured in Pakistan on Sunday when an oil tanker caught fire minutes after it overturned near Bahawalpur in central Punjab.

Most of those who died were burnt when they tried to siphon off fuel from the tanker as petrol flooded the area.

The tanker en route from Karachi to Lahore carrying 40,000 litres of fuel overturned when trying to make a sharp turn on the main National highway. It is reported to have exploded after fuel leaking from its damaged container caught fire.

A large crowd of people, including women and children, had gathered at the scene to collect the leaked oil when the fire erupted. Labourers working in nearby fields rushed to the spot to collect fuel and were caught up in the ensuing fire too.

Motorway Police spokesman Imran Shah said police raced to the scene and tried to keep people away from the tanker but they were ignored as residents continued filling their containers with fuel.

“When [the tanker] turned over the residents of the nearby village of Ramzanpur Joya rushed to the site with buckets and other containers, and a large number of people on motorcycles also came and started collecting the spilling fuel,” police chief Raja Riffat told local media.

“After about 10 minutes, the tanker exploded in a huge fireball and enveloped the people collecting petrol. It was not clear how the fire started.”

Some reports said a spark from the many cars and motorcycles that raced to the scene may have ignited the fuel.

Firefighters fought the flames for over two hours before extinguishing it.

The charred wreckage of the motorcycles and cars was seen scattered on the highway, along with kitchen utensils, pots, water coolers, jerrycans and buckets which victims had brought to collect the petrol.

Dr Rizwan Naseer, director of Punjab provincial rescue services, said many of the charred bodies are beyond recognition. They have to be identified through DNA testing.

Reports said more than 70 people have been shifted to Bahawal Victoria Hospital, Bahawalpur, an hour’s drive from the site of the incident. That hospital does not have a burn unit, leading to severe difficulties in providing necessary treatment, officials said.

They expect the death toll to rise in the coming days.
Army helicopters transported 51 injured people from Bahawalpur to Nishtar Hospital in Multan, about 100 kilometres away.

The tragedy came one day before Pakistan was due to begin Eid ul-Fitr celebrations marking the end of the holy fasting month of Ramzan, with many roads crowded as people travel home for the holidays.

Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif expressed his grief and directed the government of Punjab province, run by his brother Shabhaz Sharif, to provide “full medical assistance”.

Sharif, who was in Britain for Eid holiday, decided to cut short his trip and return.

The prime minister has already been criticised for going on holiday after recent terror attacks in Parachinar and Quetta.

On social media, users posted messages of grief and solidarity with the victims of the oil tanker crash, as many prayed for a safe Eid.

Pakistan has an appalling record of fatal traffic accidents due to poor roads, badly maintained vehicles and reckless driving.

At least 62 people including women and children were killed in southern Pakistan in 2015 when their bus collided with an oil tanker, starting a fierce blaze that left victims burnt beyond recognition.

The country has also long struggled to contain a chronic energy crisis, with regular blackouts suffocating industry and exacerbating anger against the government.

The crash came days after a series of militant attacks killed at least 57 people across the country Friday, unnerving many Pakistanis, with authorities ordering a security crackdown.

(Source: Hindustan Times)

Sports / Cameroun Out From Confederations Cup by johneewalker: Last week on Sun at 08:43pm
Germany beat Cameroun 3-1 to reach the semi-finals of the Confederations Cup in what was a convincing win. Goals from Demirbay and a brace from Werner ensured that the Germans eased into the semi-finals to face Mexico on Wednesday while Portugal faces Chile on Thursday.

The win means, in his 150th match in charge, Joachim Low has now reached a century of victories with Germany.


Celebrities / Don Jazzy Is Begging Me In His Heart, D’banj Shades Former Colleague by johneewalker: Last week on Sun at 08:39pm
Dapo &lsquo;D’Banj’ Oyebanjo, Nigerian singer and songwriter, says that Don Jazzy, his former label mate and producer, is begging him in his heart.

The duo had parted ways in 2012 over differences in interests, which led to the death of the once blooming Mo’Hits Records which they built together.

On Sunday, D’Banj, who recently announced the birth of his first child, a boy, shared a picture of Blac Chyna, American model, who attended his album listening party.

The Fall in Love singer had released the tracklist for his fourth studio album, King Don Come, which has ten songs and two bonus tracks, ‘Top of the World’ and ‘Oliver Twist’.

In response to his tweet, a Twitter user with the handle, @seetohafsat, wrote: “I don’t know where you are heading but guy you need Don Jazzy.”

D’Banj quickly responded saying “Are you also on the payroll? Even @Donjazzy knows in his heart he is begging me…You madt bruh? Lol…Jazzy come and carry your people.”


While sharing his worst day in business, Don Jazzy had told Peace Hyde that parting ways with D’Banj was not a good decision.

“The decision to part ways with my former partner D’Banj at some point or at that point was not the right decision. As much as there were financial consequences, it was also that I lost a friend and a brother,” the 33-year-old producer said.

“It was a mutual agreement, he wanted to concentrate on the American market and I thought we were not ripe enough, I just felt that we were wasting so much money in trying to create smoke where there was no fire. It’s not like I am not looking at the bigger picture, I just like to be realistic.

“We had a very beautiful relationship, I don’t think anyone in the music industry had that type of relationship at that time. The media and fans that were angry made our relationship strained. I would say something and they would think I was referring to him and the same happened to him even after when we had settled things.”

The Mavin boss said he was considering other artistes on the record label when he made the decision to stay in Nigeria.

“There is no way I would do that and not think of the other children I have over here in my record label. I had Wande Coal, D’Prince, Dr Sid and when I commit to something, I like to see it to the end and I couldn’t leave the rest of them hanging by going to the United states at that time.

“A lot American artistes including Kanye West were on me that time asking for beats and other things but it might take me a long time to be successful over there so I decided to stay behind and build what I have here.

“We got to a point where Kanye was interested in us so I think we will get to a point where we can make better demands. It looks like the time is ripe now with the interest America has in Wizkid, Davido and Wande Coal, it just didn’t feel ripe then.”


Sports / Sure Football Predictions 25th June And Correct Scores For Sunday by Kingvictor: Last week on Sun at 11:05am
[1] Argentina
Primera Division, Torneo Inicial
23:10 CA Banfield – Racing Club| Bet on CA Banfield draw no bet @ 1.70.
[2] Argentina
Primera B Nacional
21:00 Crucero del Norte– Boca Unidos| Bet on Crucero del Norte to win @ 2.00.
Crucero del Norte to play a clean sheet @ 2.10.
Crucero del Norte to win and No BTS @ 3.00.
[3] Argentina
Primera B Nacional
19:30 Club Villa Dalmine– Ferro Carril Oeste| Bet on under 1.5 goals in first half @ 1.22.
Under 2.5 goals @ 1.35.
[4] Argentina
Primera B Nacional
19:00 Douglas Haig– Club Almagro| Bet on under 1.5 goals in first half @ 1.22.
Under 2.5 goals @ 1.35.
[5] Belarus
Vysshaya League
18:00 FC Neman Grodno – FC BATE Borisov| Bet on under 1.5 goals in first half @ 1.35.
[6] Bolivia
Liga Profesional Boliviano, Apertura
22:15 Oriente Petrolero– CA Nacional Potosi| Bet on both team to score @ 1.50.
Both team to score and over 2.5 goals @ 1.80.
[7] Bolivia
Liga Profesional Boliviano, Apertura
20:00 Universitario de Sucre – Bolivar La Paz| Bet on both team to score @ 1.60.
Both team to score and over 2.5 goals @ 2.00.
[8] Brazil
Brasilero Serie A
20:00 Gremio RS – Corinthians SP| Bet on Gremio RS draw no bet @ 1.40.
[9] Brazil
Brasilero Serie A
20:00 Ponte Preta SP – Palmeiras SP| Bet on Ponte Preta SP draw no bet @ 2.00.
[10] Brazil
Brasilero Serie A
20:00 Sao Paulo SP – Fluminense RJ| Bet on both team to score @ 1.75.
Both team to score and over 2.5 goals @ 2.20.
[11] China
Chinese Super League
12:35 Guangzhou Evergrande – Hebei China | Double chance Guangzhou Evergrande to win/draw and under 3.5 goals @ 1.80.
[12] China
Chinese Super League
12:35 Sh. Telaishi– FC Henan Jianye| Bet on Sh. Telaishi to win and over 1.5 goals @ 1.60.
Half time / Full time = x/1 @ 4.30.
Sh. Telaishi to win and over 2.5 goals @ 2.00.
[13] Belarus
Vysshaya League
17:00 FC Gorodeya – FC Brest | Bet on FC Gorodeya draw no bet @ 1.75.
[14] Norway
2nd Division, avd 2
15:00 Nest-Sotra– Vindbjart| Bet on Nest-Sotra to win @ 1.30.
Nest-Sotra to win and over 2.5 goals @ 1.55.
[15] Sweden
Div 1 Norra
14:00 Arameiska-Syrianska – Carlstad United| Bet on Arameiska-Syrianska draw no bet @ 1.55.
[16] Sweden
Div 1 Norra
14:00 Assyriska FF– IFK Luleaa | Bet on Assyriska FF to win @ 1.45.
Assyriska FF to win and over 2.5 goals @ 2.00.
Over 2.5 goals @ 1.55.
Assyriska FF to win first half @ 1.80.
Half time / Full time = 1/1 @ 2.15.
Assyriska FF to win both halves @ 3.30.

Correct Scores Tips
1. 16:00 Germany vs Cameroon | Correct Score 2:0 @6.5
2. 16:00 Chile vs Australia | Correct Score 3:1 @11.0
3. 20:15 Boca Juniors vs Union Santafe 3:0 @7
4. 20:00 Sao Paulo vs Fluminense 2:1 @7.5
5. 21:00 Fjolnir vs Valur 3:1 @16
This games are not fixed games but calculated by the teams statictics



Politics / Buhari Writes From Uk, Urges Nigerians To Live In Peace by johneewalker: Last week on Sat at 10:52pm
President Muhammadu Buhari on Saturday sent a message of greetings to Nigerian Muslims and Christians on the occasion of the Eid-el-Fitr.

Buhari, who has been in London since May 7 on a follow-up consultation with his doctors, urged all Nigerians to resolve to live in peace and avoid making reckless statements.

President Buhari's message was made available to journalists Saturday night by his Senior Special Assistant on Media and Publicity, Malam Garba Shehu.

On the eve of the commencement of Ramadan on May 26, Acting President Yemi Osinbajo had felicitated with the nation's Muslim faithful.
Buhari, in his three-paragraph message, appealed to all Nigerians to avoid reckless statements or actions against their fellow countrymen.
He said they should resolve to live in peace and unity in the country which he described as the envy of many less endowed nations.

Buhari was quoted as saying: "I am immensely grateful to God for his mercy in guiding us successfully to conclude another Ramadan fast. My greetings to all Nigerian Muslims and our brother Christians on the occasion of Eid-el-Fitr.

"May the lessons of Ramadan namely; piety, self-denial, prayers and generosity to the poor and needy be with us for all time.

"I, again, appeal to all Nigerians to avoid reckless statements or actions against our fellow countrymen. We should all resolve to live in peace and unity in our great country, which is the envy of many less endowed nations.
"Happy Eid-el-Fitr".


Religion / Suicide Bomber Blows Self Up Near Mecca by johneewalker: Last week on Sat at 10:42pm
A suicide bomber blew himself up near the Grand Mosque in Mecca as police disrupted a plot to target the holiest site in Islam just as the fasting month of Ramadan ends, Saudi security forces said Saturday.

The Interior Ministry said it launched a raid around Jiddah, as well as two areas in Mecca itself, including the Ajyad Al-Masafi neighborhood, located near the Grand Mosque.

There, police said they engaged in a shootout at a three-story house with a suicide bomber, who blew himself up and caused the building to collapse. He was killed, while the blast wounded six foreigners and five members of security forces, according to the Interior Ministry's statement. Five others were arrested, including a woman, it said.

Saudi state television aired footage after the raid Friday near the Grand Mosque, showing police and rescue personnel running through the neighborhood's narrow streets. The blast demolished the building, its walls crushing a parked car. Nearby structures appeared to be peppered with shrapnel and bullet holes.

The Interior Ministry said the thwarted "terrorist plan" would have violated "all sanctities by targeting the security of the Grand Mosque, the holiest place on Earth."

"They obeyed their evil and corrupt self-serving schemes managed from abroad whose aim is to destabilize the security and stability of this blessed country," it said.

The ministry did not name the group involved in the attack. The ultraconservative Sunni kingdom battled an al-Qaida insurgency for years and more recently has faced attacks from a local branch of the Islamic State group. Neither group immediately claimed involvement, though IS sympathizers online have urged more attacks as an offensive in Iraq slowly squeezes the extremists out of Mosul and their de facto capital of Raqqa in Syria comes under daily bombing from a U.S.-led coalition.

The disrupted attack comes at a sensitive time in Saudi Arabia. King Salman earlier this week short-circuited the kingdom's succession by making his son, Defense Minister Mohammed bin Salman, first in line to the throne.

The newly appointed 31-year-old crown prince is the architect of Saudi Arabia's stalemated war in Yemen against Shiite rebels. He has also offered aggressive comments about the kingdom confronting Shiite power Iran.

Iran's Foreign Ministry on Saturday condemned the Mecca plot and said it remains willing to work with other countries in confronting terrorism.

Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries have cut diplomatic ties to neighboring Qatar and are trying to isolate the energy-rich country over its alleged support of militants and ties to Iran. Qatar long has denied those allegations.

As the Interior Ministry announced the raid, over 1 million Muslim faithful prayed at the Prophet's Mosque in Medina to mark the end of Ramadan. In July 2016, a suicide bombing there killed four members of Saudi Arabia's security forces.

Millions of Muslims from around the world visit the mosque, the burial site of the Prophet Muhammad, every year as part of their pilgrimage. The same day in July, separate suicide bomb attacks targeted a Shiite mosque in eastern Saudi Arabia and near the U.S. Consulate in Jiddah.

The Grand Mosque has been the target of militants before, in part because it represents a symbol of the ruling Al Saud family's clout in the Islamic world. The Saudi monarch bears the title of "custodian of the two holy mosques."

In 1979, some 250 militants seized the mosque and held it for two weeks as they demanded the royal family abdicate the throne. When Saudi troops stormed the mosque, the official death toll was 229, including extremists and soldiers.


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